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Where the BIG IDEA from and Why it is Here.

6/20/2023

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I love fairy tales. Even though they sometimes have a frightening component to them, usually a dragon is slain, and the story culminates with a happy ending. There is something very compelling about the prospect of living happily ever after, isn't there?

I am about to share a story with you that while it is not a fairy tale, does have a some potentially fearful moments as well as many very happy ones. This story has not been shared with many people until now. It is my hope that in its telling, you will find the same hope and happiness that I have. 
​
I suppose I should start with "Once upon a time", but that would be rather silly, since it was, to be specific, March 12, 2023. 
On that day I received unexpected news, delivered very clinically, I was diagnosed with cancer. A type of cancer that is not particularly rare, that in fact there is a vaccine against, (parents, please be sure your children are vaccinated). In my case the cancer found its way to the soft palette of my mouth and my left tonsil. Because of its location, surgery was not advisable. Treatment took the form of seven weeks of radiation therapy every day. The days following were full of uncertainty and a fair dose of fear, but rather than dwell there, (I did say I like fairy tales, right?) let us get right to the dragon slaying.
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"Even if you don't know what this, you have to admit, it is a little spooky"
Most knights don their armor before going to battle. Here is mine, and even if you have never seen a helmet like this, it looks foreboding, but if you are familiar with it, you likely have experienced radiation or have a loved one who has. 

My mighty radiation therapists and specialist warriors and I prepared for battle each day, snapping the helmet down firmly, strapping me in and using their best magical radiation laser powers, they helped me slay the cancer. We could almost hear it screaming during the battle.  (I told you there would be good parts to the tale.)
​
I was surrounded by an amazing team of Oncologists, Doctors, Nurses and Radiation Specialists, all of whom were not only knowledgeable but also kind, gentle and comforting. 

I am blessed in many ways, one of which is the ability to refocus and visualize my way through fearful moments. During treatments that have potential to cause anything from claustrophobia to anxiety, I recited the Lord's prayer in Gaelic, visualized a magical unicorn in a field of poppies and heather and absorbed myself in gratitude for the many incredible friends and family members who have stood by me with encouragement, prayers and love. 

This is where the BIG IDEA came from. Those moments in treatment where I used whatever tools I had at the ready to remove myself from what was going on around me.​
The mask is far more than something to fear, it is full of hope, magic in the form of science and medicine, and promise, even happy endings, and so it will be.
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On May 30, 2023, I donned the armor one last time. When complete, I was privileged to ring the bell, symbolizing the treatment was over. 
While this story has not yet ended, I have no doubt that when it does, it will be like most fairy tales, happily ever after. It will be a few months before I receive the "all clear" the dragon was slain. 
​ Until then, it is my hope that my story, and the one that is still being written, a new and revised version of the mask, will somehow give hope and light to someone else who may have just received or has recently been the recipient of some unexpected news. 
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I hope you will stay tuned to see what becomes of the BIG IDEA, the less scary, more beautiful, hope filled mask. In the meantime, here is a little sneak preview of the goings on, behind the scenes. 
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My deepest gratitude to the entire team of Swedish Cancer Institute, Issaquah Campus. 
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    “I am a contemplative artist who has trouble accessing verbal skills. Finding the right words to talk about the amazing things I observe around me can be frustrating. It is much more natural for me to pick up a paintbrush, some embroidery floss or my camera when I wish to share some new discovery. The artwork I create is meant to be enjoyed on whatever level the viewer experiences it and not layered with complex meaning. Feathers, fur, flowers and the incredible variation I find in wildlife not only inspire me, but compel me to share every nuance with you.

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